APT. #301, Fort Des Moines

Hey people! I'm Lindsey Albright, a girl of many things. Now, I hate telling people about myself but, it always seems to come out. Well, guess what, I get to tell you about myself. If I don't then, some people might think I have mental problems. I don't much care if they think that. I just want people to know I don't have any.

I'm pretty young, but all the good stuff happens to young people. I am the outsider of all outsiders. At least I think I am. I like talking to people as anyone would. Yet, I love being alone. I'm alone a lot, so not many people can even remember my name. I got two friends who can't even remember my name. They call me Ashley, or Danielle. Another way you can tell I'm a really outside outsider, is that the popular kids don't even try to make fun of me. To very many people I am nothing but a black dot on a black wall. Well, all this alone time gives me chances to think, reflect, and gain. I have become very good at each. My gain is my brain. I can read, listen, and think my own personal thoughts all at the same time, and still remember all of each. My reflecting is amazing, I can remember something and play it in my brain over and over again. The longest momented memory is from when I was three. I won't bore you with that, but my thought would be my wonder. I can imagine almost anything. Still I know the difference between thought and real life. You remember that, cause I am not crazy. I hate being called crazy. The experiences I'm about to tell about is going to sound crazy but, it's how I come to believe in spirits.

When I moved to these apartments I was scared to death of going into my room. This was five years ago. I would sleep on the couch, a cot, or even with my mom. Well, I've started to sleep in my own bed for the past year at least. Believe it was really hard I still toss and turn in the night. I have to sit in my room a while before I can do my own thing. That includes dress, do homework, watch TV, or even shut the certain. I'm in there a lot now. When I started out in this place my mom said it would feel weird and it did. It still feels weird, even five years later. My mom leaves for work in the morning. I don't live with my dad or, any of my bros. She leaves pretty early, usually sometime before 5:00am. I can't wake up to an alarm, so I have to wake too. I have the house to myself for three hours. Two years ago it was five hours. I sit for ten minutes in the morning. Then, start walking around. Yet, in the mornings I feel as if I'm being watched. I feel as if a man is watching me. I feel it's a man because if a girl watches me, I feel like I was being watched by a bird. When any guy watches me I feel like I am a prey of a predator.

Well, The farthest I've ever had that feeling was all the way to the front of the school. The scariest thing about this is that I even get this feeling in the shower. I've never experienced this out side of the seeing range of the Fort Des Moines. Well, as scary as it is I have found a way to relieve myself. I sing, think, call my mom, or one of the few friends I have.

Well, I left my e-mail address so people can ask questions if they have any. I am the girl of many things.

Contact me: albrightl@hotmail.com

Submitted by Lindsey Albright, Iowa, USA