Visit from a Suicide?

I've hesitated to relate my story to a ghost forum, because I wasn't sure if it was truly a paranormal experience. But, since there are several stories here that are very similar to mine I thought it would be quite appropriate to submit.

In the summer of 1995 a very good friend of mine committed suicide. We'd been the best of friends since our early college days (early 80's), and he'd seen me through some very tough times. I really believe he kept me from going off the deep end many times. His death was a shock to me, because he'd been the type of guy you'd expect to be very successful; intelligent, mature, ambitious. In reality, life had dealt him some terrible blows; his career never panned out, and he ended up working in a field that held no interest for him; he and a friend were involved in a car crash that killed the friend's 4-yr-old daughter. He seemed to hit bottom after the little girl's death. He and the friend got into drugs to deal with the grief (not a good choice). It quickly escalated into crack and heroin, and he ended up stealing money from his wife and family to support his habit. In the end, he couldn't see any reason to go on. He carefully planned his suicide, and in June of 1995 hung himself.

My grief was overwhelming. I'd allowed time and distance to come between us, and the guilt was so strong. I've heard that suicide has a special pain all its own for the survivors, and I can attest to that. Very soon after his death, I had 2 very strange dreams that were especially vivid. In the first, he came to me and was asking me why I hadn't been there for him-he was very emotional in his appeal. It was so real I can still hear and see it to this day. The second dream came a few nights later. This one was much different-he came to me and told me that he was okay, that he was at peace and I wasn't to blame for his death. Why do I think these dreams could have been a paranormal experience? Because they have stayed with me to this day, vivid in every detail. They both took place in the same beautiful garden with people wandering around us. Most dreams are forgotten almost as soon as we wake up. Also, the emptiness of not being able to be there for his funeral, to share the grief of others, was very relieved after these dreams. I truly believe that he came back to say goodbye to me, and I'll be eternally grateful.

Submitted by Susan Page, Florida, USA