About a year ago in October, my baby brother Jake died. He was only two (I was 16 just to let you know). My mother had been at work and I had been at school. He was with the babysitter. She was not watching him and he took a fall down the stairs, fracturing his skull.
My father died soon after Jake was born, so it was just my mother and I. Losing Jake had broken both our hearts. I couldn't stand to not hear his giggles, or see his curly blond hair and blue eyes. I would sit for hours in my room staring at pictures of him in our photo books. I'd sit in his room at night and play my guitar softly like I used to do to get him to sleep, I'd also rock back and forth like I used to do when I held him, I didn't do that much because I have my left ear pierced and he'd tug at the earring. I'd even skip school and sit at his grave all day reading his story books for him.
One night I was laying on my bed at around midnight since I didn't sleep much. My room was dark and I felt a weight on my chest. I fell asleep a few seconds after I felt the weight. I dreamed of Jake coming into my room and taking my hand and leading me out of my house and into this wonderful place. I can't really explain it, all I felt was comfort and the place was bright blue, it made me feel so free. After Jake showed me that place, we were back in my room. I sat Jake on my lap and he assured me he was okay, only he said it like 'I okay, Jamie. Don't wowwy about me'. I awoke on my bed and the weight was still on my chest. I felt a tug on my earring and then the weight was gone. I started to cry happy tears. After that I fell asleep, i felt like the world was finally off my shoulders. I still repeat my rituals of visiting Jake's room. I bring toys to his grave at Christmas and on his birthday, I also sit there at the grave on the anniversary of his death, but I no longer worry about his spirit being lost anymore. I still miss him.
I dedicate this story to the memory of my baby brother Jake...
In Loving Memory
1997 - 1999
I love you, Jake. You'll always find your place in my heart.