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IT'S OK TO DIE
Back in September of 1993, my Uncle was having trouble
swallowing. He didn't tell anyone he was having problems
with his throat and that sometimes he would cough up blood.
One day we caught him coughing up blood and tried to
convince him to see a doctor. After a few episodes of
coughing up blood and becoming frightfully thin, we
convinced him to see a doctor.
After numerous tests and hospital stays it was determined
that he was suffering from Esophageal Cancer. My Uncle did
not tell us what his diagnosis was, nor did he tell us that
he would not recover from the Cancer. He led us to believe
he had stomach ulcers.
My Aunt, Uncle and I were very close. We spent a lot of
time together. And when it came to my Uncle getting
medical treatments, I went with them.
My Uncle received radiation therapy and numerous
medications to help him deal with the pain from this
terrible disease. All the while we didn't know how
seriously ill he was.
After suffering with Esophageal Cancer for about a year and
a half, my Uncle became seriously ill and had to be
hospitalized.
At the Hospital my Aunt cornered the Doctor and demanded to
know what was really wrong with her Husband. The doctor in
a cold and unfeeling manner blurted out "He has an un-
curable Cancer and he will probably not live more than 2
weeks at the rate he is going!" The doctor turned and
walked out of the conference room leaving us standing there
in shock.
We gathered our composure and went back to my Uncle's room
to sit and talk. He could barely speak and said that he
was feeling better and wanted to go home. We knew he
wasn't as well as he pretended and said that he needed the
rest and that he should enjoy being waited on hand and foot
at the hospital.
I then made a stupid joke that made all of us laugh, but
made my Uncle cough. When he coughed he coughed up a
little blood and my Aunt became upset and left the room in
tears.
My Uncle turned to me and said that he knew he was dying
and he was scared, then he started crying and said he
didn't want my Aunt to know what was really wrong and he
apologized for being so sick. He made me promise to take care of her when he passed. I
promised I would be there for her. He smiled and thanked
me. I hugged my Uncle and we both cried together for what
seemed like forever. It took a while to gain our composure
and wipe away the tears. I told my Uncle that it was okay
to be scared to die, and that his mother would be waiting
for him when he passed. He smiled and told me that he
loved me and begged me to convince the doctors to let him
go home that weekend.
It took a couple of days to convince the doctors to let him
go home and be with his family, and we succeeded in getting
him home by the following weekend.
Now here's the weird part!
At our house, my room is on the second floor near the Den
that has a door that leads to a rear porch. Since it was
Summer, I had opened the door and locked the screen door to
enjoy some of the fresh breezes that would come through the
screen door. I was in my room on my computer chatting with a friend,
when I felt a really cool breeze brush across my bare feet.
As I was typing, I caught a glimpse of a woman standing at
my bedroom door from the corner of my eye. I turned to see
who was standing in the doorway and there was no one there.
I got up and went from room to room to see who else was in
the house. Mind you I was the only one home at the time,
and thought that maybe I didn't lock the second floor door.
I went and checked the screen door and it was still
locked. I laughed at myself for being so silly and went
back to my room to finish the chat I was having with my
friend. I must have been chatting for about 10 minutes when I again
felt the same cool breeze go across my bare feet. I turned
around to see the same woman I had seen earlier, this time
she was still standing there.
I looked at her and asked her if I could help her. She
stood there motionless for a few moments and spoke. She
said, "You know me!"
She was wearing a very pretty Lilac dress, her hair was
very nicely styled, her make-up was light, but perfect, she
had the warmest smile I have ever seen. She again
said, "You know me, I'm Kenny's Mother!"
I was startled because my Uncle's name was Kenny and I knew
that his mother had passed some 15 years ago. I had only
met her once before she passed away.
I froze and couldn't say a word. She smiled at me and
said, "Please tell my Son I am waiting for him!"
I still couldn't say anything, it was like my mouth was
glued shut. My body felt suddenly heavy and I couldn't
move. She looked at me and said "Tell my Son not to be scared, I
am waiting for him!" I looked down for just a moment and
all the sudden she was gone from the doorway.
I was shaking uncontrollably and could barely lift the
telephone to call my Aunt. At first I dialed the wrong
number and apologized half in tears. I dialed my Aunt's
number and when she answered I started talking trying to
get everything out all at once. She told me I was rambling
and to calm down.
I took a deep breath and very quickly told her what had
just happened. My Aunt told me to hang up the telephone,
lock the doors and go outside, she would be right over to
pick me up.
I threw the telephone on my bed and ran to the rear door
closed and locked it. I grabbed my shoes and ran down the
stairs and out of the front door slamming it on my way out.
By the time I got to the corner of the block, my Aunt
pulled up. I jumped into the car and started telling her
everything that happened as we drove to her house.
When we walked into her livingroom, she told me to sit down
and try to get myself together. As I looked at her
standing in front of me, I noticed a photograph on the
ledge above the fireplace behind her. All I could do was
point.
She turned around and asked me what I was pointing at, I
told her that the woman that was in my house was the same
woman that was in the photograph.
She looked at me in disbelief and laughed. I told her what
she looked like and what she was wearing when I saw her.
My Aunt suddenly became silent and started crying.
I didn't know I would upset her, and asked her why she was
crying. She said the woman in the photograph was Kenny's
(my Uncle), Mother and that she was buried in the Lilac
dress I described. She told me that I was too young to remember his Mother and
there was no way I could possibly know what she was dressed
in because I was not at the Funeral.
My Aunt told me that she had someone fix her hair special
because it was very long and beautiful and no one at the
funeral home knew how to style it. She also said that my
Uncle's Mother never wore make-up, but the people at the
funeral home put a little make-up on her for the viewing
because she was so pale.
We both sat there in silence for a few moments. Then my
Aunt stood up and told me that I should go and tell Kenny
(my Uncle) what had happened and maybe he would understand.
I went to my Uncle's room and sat down. I told him that I
loved him and didn't want to upset him, but I had a message
that we thought he should hear.
I told him what had happened, he smiled at me and
said "Thank You.. but I already know she visited you. She
told me the same thing!"
My Aunt, my Uncle and I sat there and cried for a bit, and
then talked about some of the good times we all had
together he hugged us, laid back and quietly passed away.
Two days after the Funeral, as I was in my room thinking
about the whole thing, I said out loud "Kenny, I hope you
are with your Mother and I hope you are happy and have no
pain. Suddenly I heard a voice say, "I am with my Mom..
and I am very happy.. Thank You.. and I love you!"
Suddenly the telephone rang, it was my Aunt, she was crying
and said that she could have sworn she heard my Uncle's
voice tell her he was with his Mother, he was very happy,
Thank You and I love you!" I told her I had just heard the
same thing.
We talked about Kenny and his Mother, and comforted each
other in the fact that we knew Kenny was with his Mother
and was happy.
Since that day, I have not heard from my Uncle or his
Mother, but I know they are both together and they are both
happy.
My family still thinks my Aunt and I are crazy. My
Grandmother told me she believed us because she went
through something similar when her father passed away. But
then.. that's another story!
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