Hi my name is Meg and I'm 19 from Ontario Canada. My
father took his own life in November 2002. When relatives
brought me home from work that night I didn't want to
believe that he would actually even contemplate suicide.
Eventually I accepted that that was his decision, not mine,
even though his decision hurt so many people.
After his
death I was always afraid he thought I was mad at him, or
didn't know how much I loved him because we had a fight the
day before he took his own life.
One night in April I suddenly awoke, and it felt like a dream but it wasn't. I
couldn't move but I saw my dad's face, and he was smiling
at me, I was afraid at first, then I felt calm and I wanted
so bad to say " I love you!" but I couldn't speak, then
suddenly I could move my arms and I did the Austin Powers
thing where you point to your eye, then your heart then at
the person to say "I love you" and I just kept doing that
then suddenly it felt like I woke up, but my arm was still
up and I was sort of sitting up in bed.
After this I have been alright about losing my father, I know I'll meet up
with him again one day, and I know you hear this a lot but
I think he just wanted to let me know that he's O.K and I'm
glad he gave me one last opportunity to tell him that I
love him.
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