I have been a surgical nurse for many years. As such I've
stood and watched helplessly when there was nothing that
could be done to save a person. Young or old, it is always
tragic when someone draws their last breath. But this
story isn't about one of my patients. It's about my dear
uncle.
I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn't know
or love my Uncle Keith. His daughter (my cousin) and I were
very close in age, and while growing up we spent most of
our holidays and vacations together.
Uncle Keith was my second father. Someone who never lied to me (or anyone to
my knowledge). He was the kind of person you just wanted
to get to know. Always seeing the good in a tough
situation. And definitely always looking past the bad in a
person and finding something positive in them.
When in his early 60's Uncle Keith was diagnosed with
lung cancer, I was devastated. Working in surgery I know
there are types of cancer which can be overcome and types
which cannot. I knew his cancer would not be overcome.
As days drew shorter I spent a great deal of time
helping my aunt and cousin take care of Uncle Keith. When
he reached the point of not leaving his bed, we took turns
sleeping in the room with him. We wanted so very much for
him to know that he was not alone. He was unable to
communicate very well by this time. Only responding to
pain.
On the last night that I spent in the room with him
I was awakened by his voice. At first it was barely above
a whisper. But it grew stronger as I strained to hear
him. I went to turn on the light and when I did my heart
stopped. My dear uncle who had been silently slipping away
from us had his eyes wide open. He was smiling from ear to
ear and singing Amazing Grace. As I started to leave his
bedside to call my aunt into the room his feeble hand
reached over and took mine. "Can you hear it Kay-ro" (the
nickname he had always called me). When I asked what he
heard he smiled again and said "Hundreds of thousands of
people singing Amazing Grace." With tears in my eyes I
told him that it was wonderful. "Kay-ro" he said
feebly "I'm going to go and sing with them pretty soon".
A couple of days later Uncle Keith passed away. And as
often as I have seen someone lose their battle with cancer,
or aids, nothing could prepare me for the loss that I felt
when he drew his last breath. I was angry with the medical
field, and angry with God. Even angry with myself for not
being able to do more for him.
After the service I went home and cried myself to
sleep. I awoke (or thought I did) to the sound of Amazing
Grace being sung. When I opened my eyes there stood Uncle
Keith smiling from ear to ear. "Kay-ro" he said with a
voice that was strong. "Don't be angry,..I can breath again
and I can sing again. And every time you hear the song
Amazing Grace you remember that I'm singing it loud and
clear."
Now my mind tells me that I was dreaming. But my heart
will always tell me that I wasn't. I will always believe
that my dear Uncle Keith came to tell me that he was ok.
And I know without a doubt that I will never hear the song
Amazing Grace without seeing his dear face smiling ear to
ear.
Contact me here: khosto41@hotmail.com
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