I am 28 years old, and still think I'm too
young to loose either one of my parents through
death, but on Halloween night of 2006 I found out
differently.
My dad was diagnosed of emphysema when he was
right around the age of 50. When he found out
that he was diagnosed with cancer, he decided he
would finally quit smoking cigarettes to allow
him some more years on this earth for my sister
and I, but also especially for his 5 grandbabies.
However, the summer right before he turned 55,
or should I say, the month right before he turned
55, he got even worse news than knowing he was
going to be dying from emphysema. My dad found
out right on my sister's 26th birthday, June 20,
2006, that with his emphysema and asthma, he now
had lung cancer as well.
Well having the emphysema before getting his
cancer, all the doctors could tell him was that
he was indeed going to die. That because of his
lung troubles already he could not use medication
(radiation), nor could he have surgery.
Then in July, his birth month, we came close
to loosing him. His appetite had ceased, and he
could not eat for 2 full weeks. Finally Hospice
had to be called in, and when they came to see
him, he was pretty much nothing but a bag of
bones.
My sister and I went through the next couple
months having a very hard time watching him go,
but knowing that it was indeed time, knowing we
could not watch him suffer any more. You see, my
dad was like mine and my sister's best friend. My
parents' had gotten divorced when I was 12 years
of age, and my dad had finished raising his two
teenage daughters by himself, making him our mom
and dad both, as well as us 3 becoming very close
in this 3 part family we had.
To tell you the truth, my sister and I were
ready for him to be out of pain, but can you ever
be ready for one of your parents' to die? The
answer for us of course was NO!
My sister and I,
as well as the rest of his family, stayed by my
dad's side the last two remaining days of his
left on this earth. It was the hardest 2 days of
my life. At the end he was like in a coma, just
waiting to go. I feel, having had kids, that
there are differences, as well as similarities
between death and birth.
So anyway's, the day that my dad did finally go
was Halloween day. My sister and I were
exhausted, having stayed by his side for the last
48 hours. My sister was beginning to think we
were waiting for nothing, in fact she had
said "Why don't we take the kids trick or
treating?", to which I replied, "No way, believe
it or not we are in dad's last few hours, and I'm
not leaving till he is gone." So I asked my
cousins to take our kids trick or treating. Well
half an hour after this the whole family went to
his room by his side, feeling like this was it,
the time had finally come for him to rest. Within
about 5 minutes I could feel what I call "His
Spirit" first go through my body and then just
totally leave the room, it felt kinda like a
swoosh, and being right by his side, on his last
breath, every single one of us in that room
watched my dad's beautiful face turn into a
skeleton. That is the saddest thing I have ever
seen, and unfortunately I now have that memory
etched in my mind probably for the rest of my
life.
A couple of things I find ironic with this
story that I must say before I finish with this
story. 1). My dad, having lost his mom at the age
of 9 and having a drunk for a dad, went to live
with his brother and his brother's wife. Well
this brother's wife became like a mom to him.
What's ironic about this is that my dad died
October 31, 2006, and she (his second mom) died
october 7, 2006. Also when I heard she was going,
I felt in my heart that he was next. Also, they
both died of cancer, however hers was where it
made her bones very very brittle. Also, all of
her kids saw the same death face on her that we
did of our dad. 2). My dad died 16 days after my
birthday (I am the oldest of my sister and I) and
7 days before my daughter's (she is his first,
which makes her the oldest) grandbaby of his.
Well, there you have it, that is my story.
Also I write this in his name and honor, for a
very special, loved man, dad, and grandpa.
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