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Jean M, Manila, Philippines
April 2007

I gave birth April 2004 to a beautiful baby girl and named her Danielle Caroline. But unfortunately, heaven did not allow us to have her. Yes, she died an hour and a half after I gave birth to her in a local hospital. I didn't even get the chance to see her alive. As a mother, it was too painful for me to accept the fact that I bore her In my womb for 9 long months and longing to hold her and now my first child is dead because of fetal distress. Now, on with the story.
On the day that I will give birth my brother dreamt of a little girl with curly hair and wearing a white dress holding my grandfather's hand walking away. My brother told my mom about it and right and there my mom and my brother knew that I will have a daughter but she will die. They didn't tell me the story not until it was 5 months after I gave birth to her. Now, I stayed in the hospital for 5 days due to complications of my giving birth. Danielle was buried the next day after I gave birth to her. It was my third night in the hospital and my husband was lying in the couch in a deep sleep. I woke up around 2 in the morning thinking of my daughter then suddenly the door opened. I looked towards it then entered a little girl. She is wearing a white dress made of lace. She has a curly white hair tied in piggy tails and she was smiling while walking towards the side of my bed. I was lying in my bed. When she reached my side of bed, she stroke my hair and said "Mommy,I'll be ok. Thank you for everything. Tell daddy thank you also for not leaving me in the NICU alone. I love you both. I'll watch over you and daddy and my siblings. I love you." My husband saw my daughter die in the NICU. After this she looked at my husband then stoked his hair as well. I wanted to tell her not to leave because I really want to hug her since I didn't have the chance to cuddle her. She walked towards the door and there standing was my grandfather smiling. When he held Danielle in his hands he looked at me and said, "She will be alright". Then they left the door like a normal human being.
I cried and called for my grandfather and danielle begging them not to leave me alone and take me as well. My husband woke up because I was shouting hysterically. My husband called the nurse and they gave me a shot to calm me down and put me to sleep. Needless to say, I drowsed to sleep then woke up the next morning. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I started to recall what happened the night before and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I still could not accept the fact that my daughter was gone but I felt a peace of mind knowing that she is ok with my grandfather in heaven. My husband asked me if I stood up last night and stroked his hair. I said no and I won't be able to do that since the doctor said that I can't get out of bed yet (I had a C-Section so you know how painful it is to force yourself to do something). I told him it's our daughter wanting to thank him. My husband did not buy the story thinking I am still high with the drug the nurses gave me. I didn't insist that thought to him.

I got out of the hospital and I was in our bedroom after a few weeks. My husband is in his work. I still miss my daughter and I cried myself to sleep. I woke up and saw my daughter and grandfather walking out of the door. I shrugged it off and went back to sleep. But when my husband arrived he woke me up and asked me why did I leave the door open. I recalled what I saw a while ago and I burst into tears again. My husband calmed me down. I told him what happened and this time he believed me.

According to him, the night before around 1 in the morning, he saw a man standing at the foot of our bed, and he saw a little girl standing beside me who kissed me. He reached for the lamp shade then the images are gone.

After a few weeks, I went back to work and tried to move on but never forget Danielle.

A year has passed and I was having a cup of coffee one afternoon. Out of nothing, I looked on the top of our stove and I saw a little girl sitting on top of it swinging her legs in a childish way. I didn't burst into tears anymore because I was able to accept the fact that that is my daughter and just saying hello to me. I smiled and said "Hi baby Danielle. Mommy misses you so much." Then the figure was gone. Also according to my grandmother there are times that she will hear something from the second floor like a child playing.

A few years have passed and I gave birth to my second child, Tyron. It was the month of November 2006 around 11:30 in the evening. I was washing Tyron's clothes when I saw in front of me an image of a little girl sitting and looking at what I am doing, I know that that girl is my daughter, so I just said "Mommy will go to sleep later." The figure of the child disappeared. Also there are some instances that my son Tyron will laugh hard like someone is playing peak-a-boo to him. That didn't scare me because I know that my baby Danielle is watching over us.

Thanks for reading my story.

Jean M, Manila, Philippines
00:00 / 01:04
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