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My Follower, My Friend

May 2003

Salutations, fellow ghost hunters. Heh, thought I might share yet another intriguing story with you all.

This may sound odd, maybe even crazy, but I assure you it's no joke. As of late, I've had a man communicating with me from the Nethervoid (the Afterlife, in other words). I'm not quite sure what's prompted it, but I'm actually very glad to have him around.

Allow me to elaborate; You see, only a select few of my closest friends know this, but I've become rather stressed lately, to the point of depression and hair loss, which is odd, as I'm rather young; Not even twenty yet. Anyway, I was feeling resentful of life, love, everything. I was becoming withdrawn and suicidal, and I figured that the only way I could ever fall in love or be loved was if I became very close to a ghost. I even asked people if they thought that was possible, and, of course, I got many strange looks and the occasional "Sure, why not?"

As usual, I dismissed the pessimists and began hoping that I would be visited. Lo and behold, I was.

I was dead asleep, deep within a lucid dream (for those of you who don't know what lucid dreaming is, it's when you've realized that you're dreaming and your consious mind joins in...that's how I can so vividly recall the dream). I recall a crimson sky, and a monstrous field of semi-green, flowing grass. It was fairly breezy and I could hear thunder. I looked around and there were barren trees every two hundred or so feet. I know that I was feeling hopelessly alone and lost, and I had crumpled to the ground and lain on my side in the fetal position. I don't know how long I was like that, but then out of nowhere is this man.

He was very tall, an estimated six and a half feet tall, and he was severely malnourished. He had very long, very messy shaggy black hair and was missing his right leg from just above the knee and down. The most perplexing thing, however, was that his face was painted into that of a wicked-looking clown. He had black diamond shapes painted over his eyes, and his eyebrows were enhanced to look as if they stretched all the way around to the the side hairlines of his head, just above his ears. The eyebrow paint also joined the eyebrows at the bridge of his nose and a line came from the meeting point of the eyebrows and went all the way down his nose, underneath it and to his lips. His lips were black and makeup came from the corners of his mouth and curled around the tear-like bottom of the diamonds over his eyes.

I wasn't scared of him at all; comforted, actually. His face was startling, but his dark eyes were kind. He held out his hand, I took it, and he helped me up. He never said a word, but I could feel his thoughts, and he knew I was lost and didn't know how to wake up. I put my arms around his neck and he hoisted me up and held me close to him, and then I woke up, relieved.

Ever since, he's been with me. Not only in my dreams, but physically as well. He's moved things (including my hand the first time I drew him), communicated with me through feelings, images, dreams and simple thoughts, and I've even felt him hold me when I cry. He's very much there, and I'm glad to have him.

Apparently it's likewise for him, as well. It seems he chose me because I know very well what pain is, and he needed someone to hear his story. He's asked me to share so I will. (Sorry for the length so far!)

It seems the reason he wears the clown face is because he had a friend who was emotionally scarred by something involving the circus when they were children. One day, it drove him crazy, and he turned on my follower and carved his face into a clown's. He then tied him up and locked him in a room, and then killed himself. My follower was forgotten and died of starvation and thirst. Hence his appearance of severe malnourishment. He now wears the makeup to hide the scars on his face.

I'm happy to say that he's helped me a lot, and likewise. We are both feeling less isolated, and I have gone back to my normal, stable self with his help and constant guidance and advice.

Thank you all for your patience, and thank you for hearing me out. Please feel free to contact me.

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