Being Possessed

I was 20 when I was working on a strawberry farm and met this English guy. I feel in love with him and he had a girlfriend so I didn't see him again when I told him I would tell her about us. He would call like 6 months later and then year later.

When he left I was really distraught and my parents were just sick of me. I felt really alone. My parents kicked me out and I moved to the Gold Coast.

It was hard to find accommodation, especially something I could afford. I came across a caravan park and I begged them to let me rent out this old caravan that had a few leak problems in the ceiling. I don't know how old it was or anything about it and never thought anything of it. It was very run down, but I made it as homely as possible.

As I got to know some people in the park they told me of a man who killed himself in the in the parks amenities and they were straight across from my caravan. I have a sneaking suspicion that he lived in my caravan when he was alive.

The whole time from the day the English guy left me I thought of him everyday and wished he would come back.

I got mixed up in the wrong crowd and got into drugs. I got to the point where I didn't want that life, I never got addicted. I called my parents to come get me.

I went back home and suddenly one morning I heard tapping noises on my window. I just thought it was the house contracting and expanding from the temperature and tried to go back to sleep but it became constant tapping.

I was always intrigued with the supernatural and I asked it to communicate with me and that the left window was no and the right window was yes.

Now 4 years later I have lived with this thing I feel like it is living inside of me and speaks to me in my mind. It's really hard to explain what I am going through. It influences my thought patterns. I feel really embarrassed to tell anyone this and I don't know how to get rid of it.

It manipulates my emotions I feel like killing it but of course there is nothing there, so I hold everything inside, and put up with it. I leads me to believe that it is an angel guiding me. It communicates with my thoughts by replying with tapping sort of noises on my walls and TV or window. It really scares me, I feel like a real idiot writing this and I don't know how to put it into words, it is something that really needs to be witnessed. I live in Far North Queensland and have thought about seeing a priest for an exorcism. I did contact a witch in Brisbane to help me but she asked me to see her and I can't get there.

I have seen a psychic and she just looked at me like I was a fool. Which really hurts.

My soul is screaming inside I feel very trapped and I don't how I am going to get rid of it or even if I can. Please help me, I feel like I need a Rabbi and they only live in America. If you can give some advise please it would be most appreciated.