This is quite a long story, but please bear with me...I know I must do this so I can get over my pain.
I'm working on a call center right now and life there was boring. My batchmates and I stick like glue because we always make it a point to stay together, sitting together in one location.
It was one time when we got separated because there were lots of agents then. Exhausted from calls, I leaned back and looked to my left where my other mate was supposed to be sitting. It was then when I saw him. He had wavy hair that almost reached his shoulders, and like me he was wearing glasses. We looked at each others eyes for a second or two, and that's all it took for my heart to flutter. Luckily we had a mutual friend and we were introduced after a few months. And that's how our friendship began, we would chat and he would drop by my station to annoy me most of the time, or to just say goodbye. Then I got to the guts to ask him to hang out with me... He said yes and that same day we went to the movies.. .we had a good time, and he expressed his sentiments on being promoted as a supervisor...After that day, we said goodbye and continued with our normal chatting and friendship. Then it happened, he became a supervisor and I was so happy for him. Often he would pat the back of my chair, our way of saying "Hi". We have an ID necklace, I would wear it backwards so that my ID would be resting on my back so it wouldn't bother me when I was working. Once he noticed my ID was on my backwards and he softly tugged at it and asked why I wore it like that, I told him that my last ID had gotten broken because it got caught between me and the desk. So often he would softly tug at my ID to kind of greet me. Then after a few weeks he got promoted again to another department, he became the Trainer for newly hired agents. I was happy again for him. The problem was, the chatting lessened, the friendship became stagnant and the hanging out thing never happened again. For some reason I was the one who started avoiding him. I don't know why but I felt that he was getting further and further away from me, like he's so way up there that he doesn't deserve a mere agent such as I.
Then on February, the unthinkable happened, he got run over by a speeding car while crossing the street to go to work. I mourned in silence, and cried in solitude. I never had the chance to go to his funeral, again I felt like I didn't deserve to be there. I tried to manage hard to go back to normal, but everywhere I look I see him.
One weekend, I was alone in our area, and it was unbelievably cold, I was pulling out my tools when I felt something. I felt a resounding tap, no one was there. Then I felt something pull my ID ever so gently. I know I didn't imagine it, I closed my eyes and saw him in my mind, I cried, the pain poured out of my heart as the tears gushed from my eyes. Then I felt a calming presence hushing me, and then peace.
It still hurts to know he's gone, but I try to move on day by day. I know he came to say goodbye to me that night in our little way.
Thank you my friend... I will always carry you in my heart.