Echoes

My grandfather Jerry died several years ago after a lengthy illness, an event which my family had expected, but was still hard to handle.

I remember the last time I say my grandfather, at my cousin's wedding. As he got up to go, I knew I should go see him off; something inside of me told me that this would be my only chance to say goodbye. My gut feeling was correct; a month later, grandpa Jerry died.

My grandfather had been an abusive man in his middle years, which drove my grandmother to divorce him. After the divorce, my grandmother's life improved, as did the lives of my mother and my aunt, for they were finally free of a pain that had been with them since the girls' births.

My grandfather died without ever apologizing, which seemed to weigh down on his soul, for my grandfather's soul never left to whatever plane awaits for us after death. About a year after his death, unexplainable things began to happen: you would feel that someone had just walked behind you without anyone being there, if you were at the computer someone unseen would stand beside you, and shuffling steps would be heard crossing the floor. You could actually follow these footfalls, and tell which direction they moved! (This was most often going from the kitchen area down the hall to my mother's bedroom.)

Something inside of me told me that this was indeed my grandfather's entity, and whenever I felt this entity near me, I would often sense sadness, a regret, as if in death my grandfather was seeking an absolution that he could not voice in life.

Recently I sat down in the living room alone after everyone had gone to bed. I called for my grandfather, and felt as if he was suddenly sitting in the rocking chair to my left. Knowing that I had his audience, I spoke aloud and told him that he should go On to that Other Side, for here he could not communicate his need for forgiveness. I told him that this World was no longer his place, and that forgiveness was else where, and a salvation lied within himself. Soon the presence seemed to fade away, and I feel that my grandfather may have gone on to that Other Place, wherever it is, for I can no longer sense him on this plane. I hope that wherever he has gone to he has found the absolution that he searched for so long in life.