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He Came Back To Say Hi

March 2005

My boyfriend and I had an argument/discussion at one point and he walked out of the house. Later that evening, I was finishing laundry and had just put my last load in the dryer. I thought that I would sit down on the couch while that last load dries and watch some TV before I went to bed. Well, I fell sound asleep on the couch and was awakened by someone knocking on the window which, of course, scared me half to death. Shortly thereafter, my boyfriend called on the phone. "Are you alright?" he practically screamed at me. When I asked him why he asked, he said he had been by the house and had rang the doorbell, banged on the front door (he didn't have his key), and back door until his hands were raw, and on the window of the TV room without getting an answer. This was surprising since I am a very light sleeper and the fact that my son had not woken up either with all the commotion.

Anyway, my boyfriend came back and we made up. I mention this little argument because it is related to my experience.

My boyfriend died in July 1992. My son who was 8 at the time and I were both just paralyzed with grief. My boyfriend had had an extended illness, but he had always pulled out of it before.

About a month after his death, I was lying in bed asleep and heard someone banging on the front door. I got up and went to the door and peeped out wondering who in the world could it be?. When I checked, no one was there. A couple of nights later, I was awakened by someone banging on the back door. Again, when I went to the door, no one was there. This went on for about three months--one night the front door, one night the back door, and sometimes, even knocking on the windows. I would get up, check the doors, check the windows and not see anything or anyone.

Finally, one night I went to sleep and had a dream about my boyfriend. I dreamed he was sitting in this room and when I walked in the door and saw him, I was so excited. I told him there was so much going on that I wanted to share with him, and how much I missed him and loved him. He told me, "I just came back to say one thing to you" and he made gestures with his hand, "When you find whatever it is your looking for, hang on to it" He put his hand in a fist to accentuate what he was telling me. I nodded and woke up.

That was it--no more banging on the doors, no more tapping on the windows to this day.

That's my story, I hope you enjoyed it.

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