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I Forgive You

Gudrun, Bavaria, USA
November 2006

About a week after my estranged husband took his own life, I was sitting in the living room, knitting a blanket for my twin boys who were one month old at the time. I couldn't help but feel someone was looking at me. As I turned my head toward the living room door, I saw my husband standing there, staring at me. Around him was a light, spread out like a star shining. He just stood there, staring at me with what seemed like glowing eyes. It only lasted for a few seconds and then he was gone.

A few nights after that evening, I had the same feeling of someone looking at me while I was sleeping. I woke up and again saw my husband standing there, next to my bed, staring at me. His eyes seemed sad this time and he seemed lost. I was scared and didn't know how to react. Again, it only lasted for a few seconds and he was gone.
I visited the nun who had raised me for 10 years and told her about my experience with my husband. She told me that she will have a mass read for him and that I need to communicate with him and tell him that I forgive him for committing suicide.
I went home, sat in my bedroom and talked to him as if he was there with me. That night, I saw him again, standing in the doorway and staring at me. I looked at him and told him that it is OK to move on and that I forgive him for what he had done. I told him that his girls love him and miss him. I asked him to go in peace and to leave now.
I have never seen him again since that evening.
May he rest in peace.

Gudrun, Bavaria, USA
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