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Kiss of Death

Gina Stiller, Dublin, Ireland
September 1999

Julian lay in my arms. He was awful. Mike had done it this time, the stab wounds poured blood, and Mike stood there clutching the knife. I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick and scream, but all I could do was watch my husband slowly die.

I'd been having an affair, for 6 months with Mike. He was lovely. He adored me, and I adored him. I still loved Julian, but he never took time to tell me, or even be with me. He was a workaholic.

Julian had found out, and Mike had stabbed him after a heated row. Julian was dead.

Six months later.

Mike was in jail. He was given a seven year sentence, and I was left alone with my guilt. He was allowed to make an occasional phone call to me, and one of them in particular was very frantic.

He told me Julian had visited him, in his cell, and just looked at him all night long. I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't - didn't want to hear it. Mike never talked to me again. Then a week later, I was driving back from my mother's house, and it started to rain, it lashed, and I took a wrong turn. I was on a dirt track, and I had got stuck in the mud. I would have to stay here until the morning. But, a light appeared. It was like the light on Julian's motorbike. Something he loved. My car suddenly pulled out from the mud, and I started to follow the light. If it was Julian, I needed to say goodbye - I needed to say I was sorry.

The light guided me out from the track, and then it stopped. Julian was there. He winked at me, the way he used to when we were deeply in love. He blew me a kiss and then he disappeared.

Julian is in my heart always.

Gina Stiller, Dublin, Ireland
00:00 / 01:04
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