Mystic Maggie

This is a ghost story.

But it’s not your usual spooky haunting kind of ghost story. This is another story about phantom animals, but a much more personal one.

Anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet understands the special kind of love and grief you can only feel over the loss of an animal.

I’d had Maggie, a spunky beagle Corgi who was an expert escape artist for ten years. Maggie and I had been through everything together, including two rattlesnake bites and a divorce. (Maggie had the snake bites, I had the divorce). We went on hikes and trips together; she used to come to work with me to my shop every day. Maggie and I had a powerful bond, and I was devastated when she was diagnosed with a rare type of dermal lymphoma.

I became very connected to her energy through the course of her cancer. Actually, during Maggies cancer was when a lot of my sensitivities I have now began to manifest.

I had determined not to take her on that last ride until I knew it was what she wanted, and not just because it was too hard to watch her go through what the cancer was like for her.

Before that last ride, I took her with me to as many places as we could go together. I took her camping, I took her to Yosemite, I gave her all of the best treats, and I let her sleep in my bed with me. I watched her to see if she was still happy, even as the cancer began to show more and more on her skin.

I remember my last night with her when we were out looking at the stars and enjoying the summer night. She looked back at me; her tail wasn’t wagging, and she looked like she was in pain. I felt like she was telling me she was tired of suffering, and she was ready to rest.

The next day we rode in the backseat together while my mom drove us to the vet. I listened to ‘Running with the Wolves’ by Aurora and stroked the last few spots of unspoiled soft fur on her chest.

A little while later, Maggie took her last breath in my arms while the vet put her to sleep. I had known it was coming, but there was something so shocking to me about that last breath.

Even when I write about it now, I cry. I had never felt anything like what it felt like to lose Maggie. I realized that the love between humans and animals can be a very powerful force.

I had noticed that the closer it had come to Maggie's passing, the more I had begun to see spirits or just energy. At first, I had no idea what was actually going on, but this awareness of the spirit world is now something I know that comes with being around someone who is getting ready to pass, at least for me.

The evening of the day Maggie had died, I was sitting on the couch grieving. I had noticed that I had begun to see energy in the room. To me, sometimes, It looks like the fuzz you see on a TV when it’s on but not picking up a channel. I could see that energy buzzing on the floor. The more I focused on it, the more it began to take shape. I couldn’t fully see the shape; I could just see how big it was and how it seemed to be moving around on the floor. It was zipping and spinning around as though it was ‘Excited’. It took me a moment, and then I realized what it was.
It was Maggie's energy. I know it would be easy to say that I was just seeing what I wanted to see, but I also felt that it was her in my heart.

Maggie stuck around for a while. We would hear her nails on the floor sometimes, and there was just a general sense of her being around. One evening, I was sitting in my room just thinking of her and processing the whole experience again. I felt her approach me and press up against my chest like she used to when she wanted pets. This was the first time she had actually made contact with me. It felt very tingly, and I began to feel her sink into my chest, as if she was becoming a part of me. I was warm and buzzing all over and filled with the most amazing, joyfu, and sweet love.

It’s interesting how when people experience a ghost being near them, it is often accompanied by a tingling sensation and whatever emotions that go with it. It’s interesting to think of how we can actually have very positive and loving experiences with Ghosts as well if we had a loving connection with them in life, or if they know and love us, and we are not afraid.

Maggie gave me a message and a knowing that day about love and energy. She showed me, through the feelings of the experience, that she would never leave me and that she lived in my heart and would always be part of me for the rest of my life. It was one of the most powerful lessons about grief and love I have ever learned. I also learned, through other experiences I might share in other stories, about how Maggie’s energy protects me.

We often talk about guardian animal spirits, and I definitely believe in those. But I had never thought about how just as our family members can become the ancestors who protect and guide us, so too do our animals become guardian animal spirits. Just as we can never safely underestimate the influence that fear has to drain and weaken us when we are wrapped up in it, we also can’t underestimate the power love has to keep us above the frequency of fear and doubt. I believe our guardian animal spirits protect us with the memory of their love and the joy of their presence. It is its own light in the darkness of the unknown.