Was It A Dream?

My Mother Passed away on October, 14th. 1988, from terminal lung cancer. She was in alot of pain, and was taking Morphine to relive it. So for the last few weeks of her life, she was incoherent. I never really got to say goodbye.

A few days after she passed away, I was laying on the couch. I was in a state, where I was half asleep/ half awake. A little girl dressed in a long white flowing robe, came to me, and took me by the hand. She took me to a room, where there were many children running around playing. She pointed to a room, and I walked to it and the door opened. My Mother was sitting at a sewing machine (something she always enjoyed). She was making these white robes all the children were wearing. She looked up at me and smiled. She got up to greet me with a hug, that was so comforting, it would be impossible for it not to be real. I started to cry, and she asked me, what was wrong? I was confused by the question and responded by saying, your dead. She smiled at me and told me, no, I'm not dead. I told her I was sorry for all the mean things I did to her in my life. She said it was ok, and that the things didn't matter anymore. She hugged me so hard at that point, that I could actually feel the air come out of my lungs, and then, like a bolt of lightning, I was awake.

Since then, I have found myself being more forgiving and understanding of other peoples feelings. I'm not as self centered as I used to be. I think about how I would like to be treated, and treat people that way. I notice that sometimes, when I start feeling self centered, in my dreams, I see all those small children running around. Probably a reminder from my Mom. :)